
The Art of Doing Nothing: Why Kai Havertz's Dummy Might Beat a Messi Waltz
Guardian Football·September 10, 2026
Football has always had a hierarchy of beauty, and everyone knows who sits at the top of it. The Lionel Messi waltz — the slalom through half a defence, bodies falling like dominoes — is the sport's established masterpiece. But writing for Guardian Football, Max Rushden has made a playful heretical case: that Kai Havertz's dummy may actually be more pleasing than anything Messi produces with the ball at his feet.
It sounds absurd until you consider what a dummy actually is. It is football's most understated art form, requiring no touch whatsoever. The striker simply lets the ball run, selling the lie with his eyes, his shoulders, his intention. Defenders freeze. Space opens where none seemed to exist. When Havertz executed his version of it, the crowd's involuntary roar told the whole story — thousands of people making noise because of the absence of something.
Rushden's argument is rooted, unexpectedly, in the pandemic. When sport returned behind closed doors, he filled the silence with bizarre online shows — including a genuinely unforgettable 45-minute Zoom conversation with Darren Gough about a lifesize bronze rhinoceros, broadcast to fifteen small boxes of politely bewildered viewers. He also hosted virtual pre-match corporate calls for Heineken before Europa League fixtures, a wifi-era imitation of hospitality: a staged Q&A between a generic host and some random ex-pro, while guests attempted small talk and ate an unidentified square of meat with dauphinoise potatoes.
Those ghostly, silent stadiums taught a lasting lesson: football's soundtrack matters more than we realised. The collective gasp when a dummy comes off is the sound of mass comprehension — thousands of brains simultaneously processing the trickery a split second too late. A Messi dribble is admired. A great dummy is felt.
With the World Cup 2026 looming, Rushden's point feels unexpectedly timely. The modern game is relentless — high lines, counter-pressing, transitions measured in milliseconds. And yet, he argues, grace can survive in that non-stop tempo. It simply hides in unexpected places: not in the stepover, but in the step aside; not in the thunderous strike, but in the gentle deception that makes it possible.
Havertz's moment was involuntary in the best possible way, provoking noise from nothing at all. And in a tournament summer certain to be defined by spectacle, statistics and screaming headlines, perhaps the most delightful thing we will witness is the game's quietest gesture — a player choosing not to touch the ball, and thousands of us losing our minds because of it.
Sometimes, the most beautiful thing a footballer can do is nothing at all.
🔥 Discover More World Cup Content
Sponsored
Related News
Azzurri Capture: Alessandro Romano Officially Switches International Allegiance from Switzerland to Italy Ahead of September Break
Football Italia · Sep 10
French Football Calls for FIFA Overhaul After Pulling Support for Infantino
BBC Sport · Sep 10
Volpato's Socceroos Future in Jeopardy as Second Cocaine Test Confirmed Positive
Football Italia · Sep 10